Chang-min Ji 200503311
Jon H. Bahk-Halberg
Intermediate English Writing(1)
March 25th.
A boy having chosen asceticism
A boy was born in April 8th, BC543 by the lunar calender. His father was a king of ancient kingdom in Kapilavastu of Nepal. He was a part of the royal family but, in 29 years old, chose to leave his home and all other things to realize the truth. He once practiced asceticism but realize it's not right way for attaining enlightenment. He found a new way and eventually reached the state of nirvana. He is the Buddha.
Many Buddhists regard the Buddha's Birthday as the most important festival. They designate April 8th (by the lunar calender) as a holiday to commemorate the day, enlightenment and his death. And they show their dedication by visiting a Buddhist temple, praying with their utmost sincerity throughout the day.
I'm not Buddhist but, on the day, go to a temple to worship with my parents, Buddhists. Most temples prepare the biggest event with exerting themselves to the utmost. For example, monks hang out colorful lanterns and festoon streets as well as every temple. The lanterns' design is a lotus. A lotus and candle represent the blossoming of wisdom and enlightenment. Its beauty is second to no other ceremony.
One of the my favorite events is that they serve many Buddhist and other guests as a delicious traditional meal, steamed rice cake garnished with black adzuki beans, and all kind of vegetables. Frankly speaking, many non-believers including me go to a temple, in the day, to eat them free of charge.
Although I'm not a Buddhist, I look forward to the holiday. Extraordinary, spectacular but serene sights make me peaceful and touched. Besides, it provides an opportunity for not only Buddhists but also non-believers to think the Buddha and nirvana.
1.
ReplyDeleteI love the hook of this essay. Because I didn't know well about Buddha. It fascinated me.
2.
The main point of this essay is Buddha's birthday. The day of Buddha's coming
3.
Third paragraph is wonderful. Expressions are very realistic.
4.
The lanterns' design is a lotus
It's correct sentence but I feel awkward.
'Lanterns are designed in the shape of a lotus'
will be better
5.
The essay was good enogh. But I just want to know
more about beautiful festival!
1. your main point seemed to be the Buddha's Birthday.
ReplyDelete2. I particularly like that you wrote about you and Buddha's Birthday. I mean, your essay contained your experiences and your episodes, so I think I could read very well.
3. The last sentence of your third body paragraph is quite powerful for me. It makes me laugh. Is it true that you go to a temple to eat food for free?
4. In my opinion, it will be better if you add thesis statement in the introduction. I am little confused about what you really want to say in your essay.