Saturday, March 26, 2011

PARK JIN KYUNG - 5 paragraph essay for festival

Park, Jin-Kyung 200904082

Intermediate writing (1)

 

Sydney Royal Easter Show

 

     Parades, an amusement park, shows, exhibits, fairs, and competitions....

Do you know what kind of festival includes all of these events? It is Sydney Royal Easter show!!! This huge festival takes place in Sydney, Australia over two weeks around Easter days every year. It is the largest event in Australia and the sixth largest in the world.

 

     It is held at the Sydney Olympic park and when you go there by subway or bus, you don't have to find where it is. After getting off at the station near the Olympic park, you just go where most people go since incredibly large number of people come to the festival. Actually, it is said that this show attracts nearly a million people from all over the world. when you get there, it is quite important to manage your time for an efficient tour because a variety of different events are showing at the same time in a such a big place.

 

     The festival displays remarkably various different shows, but the main part is related to Australian traditional farming and dairy business. Here, you can feel unique Australian rural culture and industry. For instance, there is a big place for livestock called "The barn". There are various farm animals like sheep, chickens, pigs, horses, goats, cows etc. and you can actually experience these animals by watching them very closely and touching or feeding them yourself. And in another place called "Dairy", various types of dairy food like milk, yogurt, cheese from different animals like goats, cows, sheep are displayed and sold and people are busy sampling all the food for free. As well as this, some places have lots of organic food such as olives, wheat, apples, pumpkins, peppers and organic teas, and these are all picked or made directly from farms.

 

     The streets in the park are full of sculptures and beautiful crafts, and there are comprehensive fairs and exhibits for the art crafts from photography paintings to weaving and cake decorating. Besides, you can hear and watch people screaming from the exciting amusement rides and you can enjoy dynamic shows such as motorcycle jumping, horse racing, rodeo contest, dog show, cat show, car racing, stunt show and the world biggest wood chopping competition etc. What I like the most about this show is that you can watch the spectacular and amazing fireworks at the end of the day right after the car racing.

 

     This festival called "Sydney Royal Easter Show" is not just fancy glamorous but it is really literally Australian. If you experience this festival, you actually feel Australian daily rural life by looking at the all the process of making the daily food in Australia, which could be also educational for children. Aside from these rural life experience, you can see and enjoy unbelievably diverse entertainment shows for two weeks. 10 years have passed since I went to this festival, but it is unforgettable experience for me, and I want to go visit again someday.

3 comments:

  1. 200503311 Chang-Min Ji said....

    1. Actually, I didn't know the festival at all. I'm glad to know a new and interesting event.

    2.Main point is into introductions of Sydney royal easter show and its pleasure.

    3. I think three body paragraphs are all powerful. The writer gave very vivid descriptions of the festival. I felt like that I was in there.


    4.In the last paragraph, there is a sentence ; If you experience this festival, you actually feel Australian daily rural life by looking at the all the process of making the daily food in Australia, which could be also educational for children. I think a phrase 'at the all the process' has to be corrected to 'at all the process'.

    5. I don't find what a point is the essay has to improve.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hwang Yoo Jung 200904349

    1. This eassay is very exciting! It describes vividly, so I can feel as if I looked at Sydney festival on the spot. Meanwhile, this writing gives an orderly overview of Sydney festival from start to finish. That's why this writing is both exciting and well-ordered.

    2. YOur main point seems to be an overview of Sydney Royal Easter Show, providing an abundant variety of colorful attractions and experiences.

    3. I really like opening sentences because they have power capturing my attention.

    "Parades, an amusement park, shows, exhibits, fairs, and competitions....
    Do you know what kind of festival includes all of these events? It is Sydney Royal Easter show!!!"

    4. Your writing is great in itself. Though, if you want, you could describe in more datails how this festival end in third body paragraph.
    I'm afraid you finish this paragraph in a little hurry.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Park, Jin-Kyung 200904082
    Intermediate writing (1)

    Sydney Royal Easter Show / second draft

    Parades, an amusement park, shows, exhibits, fairs, and competitions....
    Do you know what kind of festival includes all of these events? It is Sydney Royal Easter show!!! This huge festival takes place at the Olympic park in Sydney, Australia over two weeks around Easter every year. When you get there, it is quite important to manage your time for an efficient tour because a variety of different events are showing at the same time in a such a big place.

    The festival displays remarkably various different shows, but the main part is related to Australian traditional farming and dairy business. Here, you can feel unique Australian rural culture and industry. For instance, there is a big place for livestock called "The barn". There are various farm animals like sheep, chickens, pigs, horses, goats, cows etc. and you can actually experience these animals by watching them very closely and touching or feeding them yourself. And in another place called "Dairy", various types of dairy food like milk, yogurt, cheese from different animals like goats, cows, sheep are displayed and sold and people are busy sampling all the food for free. I remember that I tasted about 30 different cheeses and they were so fresh and delicious.

    The streets in the park are full of sculptures and beautiful crafts, and there are comprehensive fairs and exhibits for the art crafts from photography, paintings to weaving and cake decorating. When I went there I thought their works were all very unique and astonishing but among so many kinds of art crafts, the most impressive part of the exhibits was Sugar Art corner. I had never imagine the possible range of things that could be made out of sugar before I visited the show. For example, there were animals, medicines, castles, buildings including the miniature of Sydney Opera House made from sugar and each art works were so delicate and sophisticated that I couldn't believe my eyes. It definitely had such a huge scale and good quality on that.

    When it comes to the entertainment, there are a variety of amusement rides, special parades and many different shows like the stunt show, the rodeo show ,pet shows, the horse racing and the world's biggest wood chopping contest etc. One of the most popular shows is the pig racing and it really was much more amusing than I expected. As the pigs were running really fast and they looked funny, my friends and I got so thrilled and shouted out loud throughout the competition. After watching this show, we went to the main stadium to see the motorcycle show and fire works which are actually the highlight of this festival. Lots of motorcycles jumped so high and showed dangerous-looking stunts and it was exciting and fascinating enough to catch our eyes. Right after the show, there were fireworks that decorate the night sky and it was quite long and beautiful.

    The festival called Sydney Royal Easter Show is not just fancy glamorous but it is really literally Australian. If you experience this festival, you actually feel Australian daily rural life by looking at the all the process of making the daily food in Australia, which could be also educational for children. Aside from these rural life experience, you can see and enjoy unbelievably diverse entertainment shows for two weeks. So why don't you come over to Sydney for this fantastic annual festival?

    ReplyDelete