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201181021 Huiyeong Kim Intermediate English Writing 1 (Tue 78) Saturday, March 26, 2011 Come, See, Feel, and Enjoy Every summer the small town "Boryeong" where it is located in Chungcheongnam-do, the west of Korea is always crowded with many people because there is a festival called The Boryeong Mud Festival. It is held in Daecheon beach, Boryeong for about eight days in July every other year. It has taken place since 1998 and chosen as a representative of Korea's festival three years in a row. What is the power which attracts people to this festival? Unlike most festivals, Boryeong Mud Festival can have an opportunity to experience at first hand. Mud is well known that it is good for skin. In Boryeong, there is a unique shell-powered sandy beach only found in Eastern countries, so it has been famous for its mud which contains mineral and germanium from old times. During the festival, people can swim in mud pools and massage using this Boryeong mud. Also, there are many events such as wrestling, mud king contest, mud sliding, mud prison, mud skiing competitions, and body painting with colored mud. Furthermore, People can mix with a variety of nationalities. A TV program "Global talk show of Beauties" which appeared foreigners did a survey about the festival that foreigners really want to visit in Korea, and Boryeong Mud Festival was ranked number one. As the result shows, many foreigners want to go there, so people can enjoy with them and experience world in Korea. In addition, there are a number of events and tourist attractions besides mud massage. Every night during the festival, the different types of music concerts are held, and on the last day of the festival, it is closed with a large firework display. Also, around the Boryeong, there are 78 islands, and especially at the Muchangpo beach, tourists can see a sea road like Mosaic Miracle. Through this festival, travelers can have diverse experience that they had never experienced before and meet friends from all over the world. Also, they can see the concerts, the firework display, and the sights to enjoy their summer vacations, so why don't you visit Boryeong this summer? |
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Huiyeong Kim - A five-paragraph essay about the stages of a festival or holiday
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Park, Jin-kyung 200904082
ReplyDelete1. I love this writing, this is well organized, logical, and really informative as this essay makes me go visit Boryeong for a mud festival.
2. The main point of your writing is that you can do the mud massage, meet lots of friends from all over the world and enjoy the concert as well if you go to mud festival in Boryeong.
3. But, I don't get the meaning in the first sentence in the second paragraph, it says "Unlike most festivals, Boryeong Mud Festival can have an opportunity to experience at first hand."...This sentence makes me a little confused, it's vague.
4. You used questions appropriately, in the first part, and at the end. Overall, I think this is well-written essay.
1. your main point seemed to be the reasons why many people take part in the Boryeong Mud Festival.
ReplyDelete2. I particularly like your title. It is simple and represents each part of your essay.
3. Your second body paragraph is quite powerful for me. I know about a TV program "Global talk show of Beauties", which is well known to students from different countries. In my opinion, as you wrote its survey, readers can understand more easily that many foreigners want to visit the festival.
4. I think your essay is little unrelated to a process essay about the stages of a festival.
201181021 Huiyeong Kim
ReplyDeleteSecond draft
Come, See, Feel, and Enjoy
Every summer the small town “Boryeong” where it is located in Chungcheongnam-do, the west of Korea is always crowded with many people because there is a festival called The Boryeong Mud Festival. It is held in Daecheon beach, Boryeong for about eight days in July every other year. It has taken place since 1998 and chosen as a representative of Korea’s festival three years in a row. What is the power which attracts people to this festival?
Unlike most festivals, Boryeong Mud Festival is mainly composed of events which can experience mud directly. Mud is well known that it is good for skin. In Boryeong, there is a unique shell-powered sandy beach only found in Eastern countries, so it has been famous for its mud which contains mineral and germanium from old times. During the festival, people can swim in mud pools and massage using this Boryeong mud. Also, there are mud experience programs such as wrestling, mud king contest, mud sliding, mud prison, mud skiing competitions, and body painting with colored mud.
Furthermore, there are programs “do with tourists” and “an experience of mud flat”. Through them, people can mix with a variety of nationalities. A TV program “Global talk show of Beauties” which appeared foreigners did a survey about the festival that foreigners really want to visit in Korea, and Boryeong Mud Festival was ranked number one. As the result shows, many foreigners want to go there, so people can enjoy with them.
In addition, Boryeong Mud Festival is held a number of events besides mud experience. During the festival, Boryeong Mud Festival has photo exhibitions of the festival and holds a yacht parade. Also, every night the different types of music concerts are held, and on the last day of the festival, it is closed with a large firework display.
Through this festival, travelers can have diverse experience that they had never experienced before and meet friends from all over the world. Also, they can see a variety of things to enjoy their summer vacations, so why don’t you visit Boryeong this summer?