Sunday, April 10, 2011

Hwang Yoo Jung, Five-paragraph essay for causes of happiness

 Am I happy now?

 

Hwang Yoo Jung  200904349

Intermediate English Writing I (Tue 78)

April 9, 2011

 

At this very moment, I am writing. While writing, am I happy? Maybe, maybe not. Then, even doing same thing, why could I be happy or unhappy? And as a writer, how can I write happily? Writers could become happy when they choose writing material out of their own free will, when they interact with readers, and when they are continuously improved through the process. Now let's find the secrets of happiness looking at how a writer seeks happiness through writing.

First of all, we should write with the subject by which we are motivated. If so, we are inclined to research and analyze more actively; as a result, the essay, based on our original thoughts, is livelier. On the other hand, the essay, written obligatorily under pressure, often becomes stale and is too boring to read. Same rules are also applies to studies or jobs. That is, when we study academic areas we choose and work at company we want, we become more autonomous. Furthermore, this type of people, whatever they do, tend to get self-esteem and live more energetically.

Next, we feel more enjoyable when we write communicating with readers. That is, if we argue only our opinion and don't sympathize with readers, naturally our essays are ignored by and isolated from readers. As a result, we, as a writer, also feel alone. The same is true of ones like social, professional or personal relationship. For instance, if we alone make the decision when we are depressed or hard, we could bumble. However, if we share problems with talking together, we feel easier and could make more reasonable decision.

Finally, development is one of natural characteristics of humans. The river flows into sea, and a tree grows up, putting forth young leaves or flowers and yielding plenty of fruit. Like this, writers also become more mature through their writing which becomes enriched day by day. So dose our life. When we challenge, get more experiences and find ourselves better than before, we feel a sense of accomplishment. In contrast, if yesterday is like today and today is like tomorrow, how boring and lethargic life it is! We could feel that we are really living through continuous enhancement.

As there are many people on the world, there are different ways leading to happiness. Especially, however, we feel happier when we take lead at our own life, when we have a good relationship with others, and when we find ourselves more developed. Then, right now, am I writing happily? If I write spontaneously, interact with readers, and can feel my development, I could say that I am really happy. Anyway, I am making an answer hard.

3 comments:

  1. 200904082 Park, JIn-Kyung

    1. This is impressive, especially I like the way you explained the detail.
    2. Your main point seems to be 3 main factors needed to be a happy writer.
    3. The metaphor in the first sentence of the forth paragraph is very strong, although I think it would be much better if it goes for the supporting sentence. As it was put in the first sentence of the paragraph, the whole forth paragraph doesn't look so clear.
    4. I like this essay, but I think this is too narrowed down or deviated from the given topic. This is more suitable for " What makes a good writer?" or something like this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 201181021 Huiyeong Kim

    1. I like this essay because it is well-organized.

    2. The main point seems how to find happiness as a writer.

    3. The third body paragraph is quite powerful to me. It was impressive to me, and I could think again about me.

    4."~writers also become more mature through their writing~" I think mature is a small mistake.

    5. I think this essay is good, but it is a littel unrelated to the topic. Also, eveery body pagraph tells how to find happiness as a writer at first, and then it tells how people become happy. Therefore, why don't you write your essay about just the causes of the happness? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Am I happy now?
    (second draft)

    Hwang Yoo Jung 200904349
    Intermediate English Writing I (Tue 78)

    At this very moment, I am writing. While writing, am I happy? Maybe, maybe not. Then, even doing same thing, why can I be happy or unhappy? And as a writer, how can I write happily? Writers become happy when they choose writing material out of their own free will, when they interact with readers, and when they are continuously improved through the process. Now let's find the secrets of happiness looking at how we seek happiness through writing.

    First of all, we should write with the subject by which we are motivated. If so, we are inclined to research and analyze more actively. It is natural that the essay, based on our original thoughts, is livelier. On the other hand, the essay, written obligatorily under pressure, is apt to be stale because of passive attitude of the writer. It is often too boring to read. Same rules are also applies to studies or jobs. That is, when we study academic areas we choose and work at company we want, we become more autonomous. Furthermore, these types of people, whatever they do, tend to get self-esteem and live more energetically.

    Next, we become more broad-minded when we write communicating with readers. That is, if we argue only our opinion and don't sympathize with readers, naturally our essays are ignored by and isolated from readers. As a result, we, as a writer, can feel alone. The same is true of ones like social, professional or personal relationship. For instance, if we alone make the decision when we are depressed or hard, we can bumble. However, if we share problems while talking together, we feel easier and can make more reasonable decision.

    Finally, we human beings fundamentally want to enhance ourselves. The river flows into sea, and a tree grows up, putting forth young leaves or flowers and yielding plenty of fruit. Like this, writers also become more mature through their writing which becomes enriched day by day. So dose our life. When we challenge, get more experiences and find ourselves better than before, we feel a sense of accomplishment. In contrast, if yesterday is like today and today is like tomorrow, how boring and lethargic life it is! We feel that we are really living through continuous enhancement.

    As there are many people on the world, there are different ways leading to happiness. Especially, however, we feel happier when we take lead at our own life, when we have a good relationship with others, and when we find ourselves more developed. Then, right now, am I writing happily? If I write spontaneously, interact with readers, and feel my development, I can say that I am really happy. Anyway, I am making an answer hard.

    ReplyDelete