Monday, April 25, 2011

Yoon Jin-Soo 5 paragraphs essay p86

 

For what we shot each other

 

 25th, June, 1950, AM 4 o'clock. The thunder of artillery tore the air. Lights were flashed and explosive sounds and screams filled all around. The Korea War was happened because of North Korea's ambush. After the World War 2, the Soviet Union and United States of America entered the Korea peninsula. Soviet was in the North Korea, and U.S.A was in the South Korea. These two powerful nations had different ideologies and it made us to attack each other. This war is saddest happening in Korea history.

 

  Korea war made so many victims. 1.5millions of soldiers and 3millions of civilians were died and most of buildings and factories were destroyed during the war. In fact, after the war, there were just two buildings in PyeongYang, capital city of North Korea. Also most of bodies of dead soldiers and civilians are still buried somewhere.

 

  South and North Korea keep ceasefire so far. It means the North Korea is still our enemy. Because of this, there are so many people who can't meet or make a phone call with their family. This fact is one of the most painful scars. These people, separated families, have lived with worries and longings for their family. They met few times about 7 years ago.

 

  On the other hand, some countries got a great benefit because of this war. Soviet, U.S.A and Japan sold a lot of weapons to North and South Korea and made money. Soviet and U.S.A used that money for restore their losing army and financial power after the World War 2.

 

  Korea war is kind of special happening not only for Korea history but also for international affair. Over the 20 countries entered the war and 4.5millions of people died. Also Korea is only divided country nowadays. Many countries are giving attention to Korea peninsula. There are many benefits that we can get from unification of South and North Korea. So we have to unify as soon as possible.

2 comments:

  1. 201181021 Huiyeong Kim

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is that it is very well-organized.

    2. The main point seems to be the effects of the Korean War.

    3. The title is particulary powerful to me.
    It makes me curious about the essay, and it expresses well the situation of the Korean War.

    4. I couldn't find any unclear things.

    5. I think you should change the Korea War to the Korean War.

    "1.5millions of soldiers and 3millions of civilians were died~"
    I think verb should change.

    I also think if you use comma appropriately, your essay will be better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Secon draft


    25th June 1950, AM 4 o'clock. The thunder of artillery tore the air. Lights were flashed and explosive sounds and screams filled all around. The Korea War was happened because of North Korea's ambush. After the World War 2, the Soviet Union and United States of America entered the Korea peninsula. Soviet was in the North Korea, and U.S.A was in the South Korea. These two powerful nations had different ideologies and it made us to attack each other. This war is saddest happening in Korea history.



    Korean war made so many victims. 1.5millions of soldiers and 3millions of civilians died and most of buildings and factories were destroyed during the war. In fact, after the war, there were just two buildings in PyeongYang, capital city of North Korea. Also most of bodies of dead soldiers and civilians are still buried somewhere.



    South and North Korea keep ceasefire so far. It means the North Korea is still our enemy. Because of this, there are so many people who can't meet or make a phone call with their family who seperated during the war. This fact is one of the most painful scars in Korea history. These people, separated families, have lived with worries and longings for their family.



    On the other hand, some countries got a great benefit because of this war. Soviet, U.S.A and Japan sold a lot of weapons to North and South Korea and made money. Soviet and U.S.A used that money for restore their losing army and financial power that lost during the World War 2.



    Korea war is kind of special happening not only for Korea history but also for international affair. Over the 20 countries entered the war and soldiers of allied forces of U.N were died. Also Korea is only divided country nowadays so Many countries are giving attention to Korea peninsula. There are many benefits that we can get from unification of South and North Korea. So we have to unify as soon as possible.

    ReplyDelete