Friday, April 8, 2011

Park, JIn-Kyung-Five paragraph essay for causes of happiness

Intermediate writing class(Tue78)

200904082 Park, Jin Kyung

 

 

What Do You Live For?

 

There are so many different countries and different people with different thinking in the world and people live in their own way in their own positions. And if I am asked what they live for or what is the ultimate goal in life, I would say that we live a life for happiness. Then, what should we have in our lives to be happy? Personally, I suppose there are three main factors that make us lead happy lives.

 

Firstly, you have to have a family to be happy. Just having a family itself could give you happiness although most people don't realize the fact. From my experience, when I went to Australia for studying, I missed my family and I was really scared and felt sad without any reason, so I called my mother everyday for a month. And then, as time goes by, I could manage everything quite well alone without my family. What I realized there was I could do well without them is because I have my family in Korea. That is, since I know they are just always there for me, I could have confidence whenever I met anyone or I faced something new. For me, my family is my driving force in my life.

 

Another important factor that makes us happy would be health. What is the use of a very expensive house and a car or success in carrier if you are not healthy? If you come down with a disease or get injured seriously, everything that you previously wanted to accomplish or longed for would be meaningless. When I was 15, my aunt got sick and had herself examined in the hospital. The doctor told my aunt to get a thorough medical checkup and she was completely terrified and thought herself that she got a cancer of the stomach. From that day, she quit everything that she really loved and used to enjoy doing. Why? Because they suddenly became nothing for her life. It is funny story as she turned out to be healthy after the thorough medical checkup. However, if she actually got the cancer, the situation would be devastating.

 

Finally, people need to work to have a happy life. It doesn't matter if the work is professional or respectful and it really doesn't matter if the person is educated or not. All the people need certain amount of work to feel happiness. Just wasting time or money without any job could be fun or enjoyable for short time but not for entire life. The process in which you accomplish something that you have long desired will give you the sense of fulfillment as well as reward. Besides, when you contribute to the society in any way by having a job, no matter what it is, you can build a high level of self-esteem and have a confidence deep in your mind. This whole process will make you feel happy.

 

Therefore, as far as I am concerned, you should have a close relationship with your family members, try to stay healthy and have a job to lead a happy life. Because family will always be your side, giving you peace and power to cope with anything and if you don't have health, you can never be happy since everything is nothing without health. In addition, working can enrich your life by making you feel high self-esteemed.

5 comments:

  1. 200503311 Chang-Min Ji said...

    1.The essay reminds me of what is important in my life.
    2.Main point is 'what do we should make an effort for happy life?'
    3. I like the sentences ; There are so many different countries and different people with different thinking in the world and people live in their own way in their own positions. ; It doesn't matter if the work is professional or respectful.
    I don't agree with you more.
    4. I cannot find what is wrong.
    5. Nothing. But it's too long for the lazy to read the whole essay. I think you are able to write the shorter but rather more powerful one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. Your main point seemd to be three factors that make people happy including a family, good health and occupation.

    2. I like the way of your clear description like your own experience. Also, you asked several questions which aroused readers' curiosity. I like them, but it may be ok if you reduce the number of questions:)

    3. Your conclusion gives a restatement of body paragraphs, and seems to wrap up your essay. But, I hope that some lines are added, which provide new insight or give advice.

    4. I think that you used simple and appropriate words. Also, your essay is well-organized. However, you can write it in a more concise style by erasing some irrelevant or unnecessary sentences.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Finally, people need to work to have a happy life. It doesn't matter if the work is professional or respectful. All the people need certain amount of work to feel happiness. Just wasting time or money without any job could be fun or enjoyable for short time but not for entire life. The process in which you accomplish something that you have long desired will give you the feeling of fulfillment as well as reward. Besides, when you contribute to the society in any way by having a job, no matter what it is, you can build a high level of self-esteem and have a confidence deep in your mind.

    Therefore, as far as I am concerned, you should have a close relationship with your family members, try to stay healthy and have a job to lead a happy life. These days, many people tend to equate the success and money with the happiness and this trend makes people more competitive and heartless. However,We must remember that we already have many things that cause happiness and feel grateful about having them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 200904082 Park, Jin Kyung
    What Do You Live For? / Final draft

    There are so many different countries and different people with different thinking in the world and people live in their own way in their own positions. And if I am asked what they live for, I would say that we live a life for happiness. Then, what causes us to be happy?

    Firstly, you have to have a family to be happy. Just having a family itself could give you happiness although most people don't realize the fact. From my experience, when I went to Australia for studying, I missed my family and I was really scared and felt sad without any reason, so I called my mother everyday for a month. And as time goes by, I could manage things quite well alone. What I realized there was that I could do well without them and have confidence because I have my family in Korea being always there for me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Another important factor that makes us happy would be health. What is the use of a very expensive house and a car or success in carrier if you are not healthy? If you come down with a disease or get injured seriously, everything that you previously wanted to accomplish or longed for would be meaningless. When I was 15, my aunt got sick and had herself examined in the hospital. The doctor told my aunt to get a thorough medical checkup and she was completely terrified and thought herself that she got a cancer of the stomach. From that day, she quit everything that she really loved and used to enjoy doing. Because they suddenly became nothing for her life.

    ReplyDelete