Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Ji Chang-Min, five-paragraph argumentative essay

Chang-min Ji 200503311

Jon H. Bahk-Halberg

Intermediate English Writing(1)

April 27th.

 

Illegal downloading music

 

           Do you remember Soribada and Bugsmusic? Each was the biggest site of downloading music and sharing music. Needless to say, advertisement was their main source of profits. But a few years ago, there began a strong argument; downloading or sharing music is legal? Why don't we consider copyright of a musician and a composer?

           First, we have to consider costs and efforts of music makers such as singers, composers, directors, etc. All the musics are the result of their efforts. If we don't cost right expense, they will not make great exertions to complete music. To listen and enjoy good music, we protect their rights.

           Next, there are laws in Korea against free-downloading music. It is a kind of protection of intellectual property rights. The more mature a sense of citizenship is, the more effective laws are. Observing laws about property rights is a measure of our citizen consciousness.

           Last, because we want to listen music, we have to pay price of enjoyment. There are costs for everything. The better we want to listen music, the more we have to pay the costs.

           Up to now, we have looked over why we must not download and share the music. Music is the result of many people's efforts. And there exists not only property law in Korea but also costs for every enjoyment. I hope we will enjoy a better culture and live a better country.

2 comments:

  1. 200904082 Park Jin-Kyung
    1.I like the introduction part where you mentioned the music site that used to be a big controversy.

    2. Your main point seems that we have pay the right price for downloading music.

    3. I really like the main points of each paragraph but I think they are a little lack of details. It could have been much better if you add some more supporting sentences.

    4. The first paragrph is quite storng but, the sentence "Needless to say, advertisement was their main source of profits." doens't seem to belong to the context.

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  2. 1.This essay is so simple but bas really sharp observations.

    2.Main point is problems of free music downloading

    3.I think last paragraph is great. It organize essay's contents well

    4.4th paragraph have to change i think. It 's similar with other paragraphs(2nd and 3rd).

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