Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Jang Jun Hwa, a cause and effect essay

Jang Jun Hwa 200802967

(first draft) 

 

Not Me, You First

 

             A person who is ranked as a figure who Korean want to be like the most. A person who is ranked as the most important CEO who leads the 21st century. Those are the words which describe Ahn Cheol-soo. He is just a professor in a business school and the founder of Ahn Lab. How does Ahn Cheol-soo become the figure who Korean loves and respects the most? What effects does he have on our country? The answer is his contribution to our society.

             He has developed a computer security system in Korea. Actually, he was a professor in medical school. While he was studying computer language, he found a computer virus in his disk. Therefore, he invented an anti-virus program called "Vaccine" and did not stop updating it. He finally gave up his occupation and founded Ahn Lab Company which provides anti-virus software. The reason he could quit his job is because he thought that being a virus expert is more meaningful. In other words, nobody wanted to create anti-virus program at that time, because that field was unprofitable. For this reason, Ahn who worried about a Korean computer security system decided to make virus vaccine programs and has distributed them to the individuals for free. Thanks to his effort, Korean can use reliable anti-virus programs without charge.

             He is the perfect role model for many CEOs. Because of his free anti-virus programs, McAfee, one of the biggest American companies of a computer security, failed to sell their products. As a result, McAfee tried to take Ahn Lab over, offering $10 million. However, Ahn rejected it, because he thought if he had sold his company, Korean should have paid for anti-virus programs. That's why he gave up being rich.

             In his lecture, Ahn said that his mother had an influence on him. His mother always talked to him in an honorific language. It was not until he was 17 that he realized it is not common for mothers to use an honorific form. He often said to people that he learned how to respect others from his mother. Regardless of age or social position, he always does his best to put others first. All his actions such as refusing to sell his company originate from his mother.

             Ahn believe that people should attribute their success to our society, so successful people always think over what they can do for public. He changed his job as a virus expert and also turned own a $10 million offer for our community's interests, not his. No matter what we want to be in the future, we have to remember what Ahn did.


 

2 comments:

  1. 200904082 Park Jin-Kyung

    1. I like this writing as it is well-organized and each paragraph is balanced.

    2. The main point is that Ahn contribute to society by making a anti-virus software and distributing for free.

    3. The sentences in the third paragraph have little closeness each other. It says "He is the perfect role model for many CEOs. Because of his free anti-virus~ ." The first sentence seems to have nothing to do with the second.

    4.McAfee failed to sell their products.=> This is a little unclear. This company dominated the world market except the Korean market so it could have been much better it you add "in Korean market"

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  2. 201181021 Huiyeong Kim

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is it is well-organized and also it explains well what Ahn has done.

    2. The main point seems to be the causes that
    people in Korea respect Ahn.

    3. The title is quite powerful to me. It makes me curious about your essay.

    4. "Because of his free anti-virus programs, McAfee, one of the biggest American companies of a computer security,~"
    In this sentence "Macfee" makes me a little confusing. It seems as if it belongs to his free anti-virus programs, so i think if you change the order, the sentence will be better.

    5. I think if you use transition signals appropriately each paragraph, your essay will be better.

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