Change candidates not voters
'Election day is holiday'
Most of Koreans think like that. Election day became holiday to raise turnout of voters, but many people take the rest or go vacation in voting day. People said voting should be mandatory because of low vote-rates phenomenon but others opposed. Mandatory of voting have to be thought seriously.
Why people opposed to compulsory voting? Vote is not duty but right. In Korea constitution there are some laws about right of vote. Besides there are nothing about duty of vote. Many people who disagree with vote mandatory say 'It is excessive interfere of government.'
Of course vote mandatory is good way for raising amount of vote rates. But although they make more people vote, it doesn't mean that people want to vote. Vote is most important and effective way to participate in politics of country especially in democracy nations. Forcing the vote to people is wrong way for democracy. It can harm the meanings of democracy.
One of most important opinions about low vote-rates is hopeless. People don't expect about better world or good politicians. Many politicians did lot of bad things and made people disappointed so people think like 'Politicians are same'. Korea government lost people's faith. If someone want to raise vote-rates, they have to improve politicians' images and behaviors.
Something that make people move is not force but mind. Before they force something to citizens, they have to think about our mind and thinking. They should change themselves not the rules.
201181021 Huiyeong Kim
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is the organization. It is very well-organized the argumentative essay.
2. The main point seems that voting should not be mandatory.
3. "Something that make people move is not force but mind."
This sentence is especially powerful to me because it is just impressive.
4. "Many politicians did lot of bad things~"
I think you should write the article "a".
"Many people who disagree with vote mandatory say 'It is excessive interfere of government.'"
I think the verb "say" should be the verb "said"
,and you use comma and double quotation mark.
5.I think this essay is good enough.
Second Draft
ReplyDelete'Election day is holiday'
Most of Koreans think like that. Election day became holiday to raise turnout of voters, but many people take the rest or go vacation in voting day. People said voting should be mandatory because of low vote-rates phenomenon but others opposed. Mandatory of voting have to be thought seriously.
Why people opposed to compulsory voting? Vote is not duty but right. In Korea constitution there are some laws about right of vote. Besides there are nothing about duty of vote. Many people who disagree with vote mandatory said 'It is excessive interfere of government.'
Of course vote mandatory is good way for raising amount of vote rates. But although they make more people vote, it doesn't mean that people want to vote. Vote is most important and effective way to participate in politics of country especially in democracy nations. Forcing the vote to people is wrong way for democracy. It can harm the meanings of democracy.
One of most important opinions about low vote-rates is hopeless. People don't expect about better world or good politicians. Many politicians did lot of bad things and made people disappointed so people think like 'Politicians are same'. Korea government lost people's faith. If someone want to raise vote-rates, they have to improve politicians' images and behaviors.
Something that make people move is not force but mind. Before they force something to citizens, they have to think about our mind and thinking. They should change themselves not the rules.