Saturday, April 9, 2011

Huiyeong Kim - The five-paragraph essay about the causes of happiness

201181021 Huiyeong Kim

Intermediate English Writing 1 (Tue 7, 8)

Saturday, April 09, 2011

 

Happiness Is Not Too Far Away

 

A number of people seek to find happiness in their lives, and they think that they can be happy by getting a great job, earning a lot of money, and buying a huge house and nice car. These things can make their lives wealthy, but it is not true happiness. Even though they are unaware of it, they feel pleased every day because it is right next to you. There are several causes that people feel happy.

 

First of all, people can be happy from the most basic things. They are pleased with the delicious foods that they want to taste and the sleep that gets enough. For example, some people feel happy drinking a cop of hot chocolate or eating meat when they feel in a bad humor. They also feel delighted by wearing the clothes that they want to express themselves.

 

             Second, being with the people whom you like makes you happy. Human beings are social creatures. They cannot live alone, and they like to get along with other people, so they form relationships each other constantly. For this reason, people especially spend more time with the family, friends, and boy or girl friends in joy and in sorrow because they are close to you and arouse in a smile.

 

Finally, people can dream about doing something that they desire. Since they were young, they have had a dream at least one. For instance, some people's dreams are to be an interpreter, a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, a president, a designer and so on. Also, traveling all over the world, being married, and flying in the sky can be a dream for some people. They try to do their best to achieve a dream, and they find happiness in this process and effort towards it.

 

In conclusion, many people find true happiness from a distance. However, they can find it by just eating, sleeping, wearing, being with people, and dreaming. There is a famous saying, "The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." Like this, happiness can be everything that makes people pleased. If people are grateful for what they have and grateful for the very simple and small things, everyone can be happy.

 

 

3 comments:

  1. 1. Your main point seemed to be several causes of happiness, which are with us.

    2. There are two things that I like most. First, thesis statement is concise and explicit. In addition, you quoted a famous saying and gave many examples. These kinds of descriptions make me understan your essay easily.

    3. As I wrote, I like your thesis statement; however, it can be changed into something different and unique.

    4. "They also feel delighted by wearing the clothes that they want to express themselves"
    I think that more explanation are needed. I am not sure what it means.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1.Your writing is very clear and precise.

    2.Topic of this essay is causes of happiness

    3.You quoted many sentences and they make your essay very strong

    4.I couldn't find anything wrong

    ReplyDelete
  3. 201181021 Huiyeong Kim
    Second draft

    Happiness Is Not Too Far Away

    A number of people seek to find happiness in their lives, and they think that they can be happy by getting a great job, earning a lot of money, and buying a huge house and nice car. These things can make their lives wealthy, but it is not true happiness. Even though they are unaware of it, they feel pleased every day because it is right next to you. Therefore, where is the happiness?

    First of all, people can be happy from the most basic things. They are pleased with the delicious foods that they want to taste and the sleep that gets enough. For example, some people feel happy drinking a cop of hot chocolate or eating meat when they feel in a bad humor. They also feel delighted by wearing the clothes that they want so, for example, some people like to have jean, dresses, and jacket on.

    Second, being with the people whom you like makes you happy. Human beings are social creatures. They cannot live alone, and they like to get along with other people, so they form relationships each other constantly. For this reason, people especially spend more time with the family, friends, and boy or girl friends in joy and in sorrow because they are close to you and arouse in a smile.

    Finally, people can dream about doing something that they desire. Since they were young, they have had a dream at least one. For instance, some people’s dreams are to be an interpreter, a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, a president, a designer and so on. Also, traveling all over the world, being married, and flying in the sky can be a dream for some people. They try to do their best to achieve a dream, and they find happiness in this process and effort towards it.

    In conclusion, many people find true happiness from a distance. However, they can find it by just eating, sleeping, wearing, being with people, and dreaming. There is a famous saying, “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, and the wise grows it under his feet.” Like this, happiness can be everything that makes people pleased. If people are grateful for what they have and grateful for the very simple and small things, everyone can be happy.

    ReplyDelete